Craft hoarding and the procrastination monkey

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Baboon on my back?

Baboon on my back?

I need a drill instructor who is also good at time management in my life. I need someone to prioritize and organize all of these crafting and gardening projects that I have floating around in my head that I keep saying I am going to do. I need someone to show up just after my Mommy obligations are met and shoot me up with some sort of adrenaline/motivation mixture. Okay…maybe not “shoot me up” but dang it, give me the energy and the initiative to do it SOMEHOW.  Smack me off the couch? Empty out my fridge so that I feel the desire to plant and grow some food to feast instead of famine? Remind me that Ayden is taking a nap…which doesn’t mean I should take one too? To hurl sewing patterns at me like a pitching machine and call me a hoarder and not a do-er? To threaten to burn all of my fabric if I don’t start using it? YES, drill sargeant. YES. Where art thou?

I have already established that I am an immensely critical and deep creative thinker. I come up with projects and plans for grandeur with hot glue and painted buttons all the time. I made myself a notebook full of pictures with ideas. I began to sort my craft hoard. This is about as far as I have gotten.

Sometimes, I get an angry itch to bake (but I don’t scratch when I itch)…and I usually follow through with that because I know I’ll get to eat my creation. Sometimes, I get an overwhelming urge to go outside and landscape or plant…and sometimes I do.

I have a mind that is filled with this overflowing bowl of creative soup that never gets stirred. I have heard before that creative minds are typically procrastinators and work best under pressure. I’d say this is partially true of me. For instance, I will wait until the last minute to make Christmas cards or a present. I will raid my closet hours before I’m supposed to dress up in costume for an event and come up with some nifty disguise. I will pull together a baked treat for my family at the last minute. At least I do them, you say…but dangit….I want to do these creative things ALL of the time, in a timely well planned manner.

I believe that the answer may be that I just need to do the dirty work to get all of these crafts of mine that are dispersed throughout our garage and the office into ONE PLACE. I know this is the first step to being able to play with all of my hoarded booty. I am apparently, just too damned lazy to DO IT.

So…the question I ask myself is, “Would you not want to slap a drill instructor in the mouth if he came into the room where you were lounging on the couch and started shouting demands at you to create RIGHT NOW?” Well played, self. I would probably kick him in the mouth instead. I have long legs, I could do that.

I am fighting a struggle with my procrastination monkey here, really. I want to make, make, make…create, create, create. I think I can, I know I can…I just don’t. Damn it. Someone kick ME in the mouth! I think, “Now is the time to get all of this crafty stuff sorted.” I want Ayden to be able to have craft time with mommy on a regular basis. But, there is the matter of unedited photos looming….ugly Christmas sweaters waiting to be photographed for Ebay…and that lazy procrastination monkey that keeps hopping on my back (who sort of looks like a baboon). I must battle this monkey and finish the work. I know this…but can’t I just watch a movie instead?

It is the end of 2012 and people are pooping themselves with excitement about Christmas. I feel the urge in the December month more than ever to create. I am not a woman who is okay with going out to shop for my friends and loved ones. I would much rather prefer to MAKE something for them. Every. Single. Holiday- Gift Giving season I tell myself that I am NOT going to buy…I am going to MAKE. I usually fail miserably in this endeavor, and end up buying online gifts with the money I make from my Ugly Christmas Sweater sales. Or…sometimes I go thrift store shopping and find little trinkets and gifts to just throw into a re-used gift bag for a holiday gift. Lame.

Thankfully, at the end of December, the New Year comes. I have decided to just skip ahead to that New Year’s Resolution and state publicly that my resolution will not be to lose weight…but to lose some of this procrastination. I vow to get my craft shit in order. I am going to have a talk with that monkey about how we can’t be together anymore. I am going to go out into the garage and bring in as much as I can store in the office and make it a crafty crafting office machine workshop. Then I will be free to create and manufacture witty little items to decorate my home with, sell, gift and then some. This is my New Year’s Resolution.

Thankfully, I have one more month to procrastinate until the January New Year pressure hits, and the holiday weight makes that monkey harder to remove from my shoulder blades. I am sure that if he stays there much longer, we might need some surgery to remove him. I may need grafting to replace the skin, too. He’s been there awhile. Maybe I could grow some in my garden.

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