These words have helped me, more than any other two words combined in recent months. A simple phrase, containing just the advice I needed. I have went through an amplified, quickened and necessary life change over the past year. I have become a Mother to two.
I’ve been attending story time throughout our community for the past month. I’ve been using it for many things. I’ve used it as a teaching tool for myself and for my sons. Ayden Zen, my oldest son, benefits the most through our story time interactions at the Library. We’ve attended different branches in our area. Each branch is filled with different parent types. Different psychologies, different results of different parenting methods. I have seen children who have been given little to no authority. I have seen Mothers who have let go of their seemingly feral brethren…sitting in a blank stare, correcting their child simple “No’s” and “Don’t do that’s” without an explanation as to why the answer is so. I’ve seen Mothers completely absorbed in their own children, too busy for Mommy politic’in. I’ve seen Mothers desperate for a friend…desperate to find someone to help them along their journey into Motherhood.
This morning I took Ayden Zen and little Harper Tribann to our closest local library branch. When we arrived, I stood outside the Library door and began to teach Ayden the rules of the library. The three rules that we must remember when we are in the library.
- We must keep our voices low, because people often come to the library to learn.
- There is absolutely NO RUNNING in the library. Running is loud and dangerous indoors.
- We have to ask our feet to be slow. No stomping allowed! Stomping is loud! The library is quiet.
We walked directly into the Children’s section. I held Ayden’s hand until we made it behind the book barrier that served as the children’s section wall. He was given the option to go to listen to the stories and songs at story time, or to have time learning on the library computer. He chose the computer. Once his computer time had ended, we went to the playtime period that takes place after every story time.
Three Mothers were attending this morning’s story time. Each Mother had two children. One Mother had two boys. One Mother had two girls. The third Mother had a boy and a girl. I felt my heart unleash something within. I felt a tug and immediate pull to talk to these women about their experience in attempting to be present for two children at all times. To be TRULY present for BOTH children. How hard is that? VERY!
Today I put it together that the severe eczema outbreak that I described in a blog of my past, Dyshidrotic Eczema: A Concerning Malady of Cause and Effect, happened as I began the process of trying to figure out just that. How could I be as present for my second soon as I was for my first son…all while my first son still expects my full presence? Deep stuff.
The answer to that, I have found out so far as a new Mother who was raised without a strong female role model? You have to teach them to LEARN to love each other and to share their Mother. Difficult to teach a 9 month old beautiful boy without words. And there you have it. Baby steps. There’s a regular term for the stroll/run/sprint down the path I’m taking into Motherhood. I also have to make sure that I keep my feet on the ground. That I take quiet, intentional steps. That I NOT RUN into this process. That I let it happen. That I be in the moment. That I slow down.
That I continue to strive to live in the present moment, always. For my boys, for myself, for life.
Be here now.